Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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