why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
