Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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