Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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