Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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