How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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