I heard we made out
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize