oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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