Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
