Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
