I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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