Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
