so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
