I met the friendliest cop last night
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
