I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
