She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
