He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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