Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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