i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
