I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize