so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
