I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
