i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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