the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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