dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
