how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
