what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
