i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
