i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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