there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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