bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
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