Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
