I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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