well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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