I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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