I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
