sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
