I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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