dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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