Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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