So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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