i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
