this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize