I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
