Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
