I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
