the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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