pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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