think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
