he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
