her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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