I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
