I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Randomize
