Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
