is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
The beer is more important than you right now.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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