i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?