I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
