oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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