You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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