dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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