Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize