my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
