He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and she was petting her beer can
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
